Loveinvoke Blog

Having the courage to choose myself

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Nicole Schoville

Nicole Schoville decided at the end of last year to take a hiatus from teaching to make time to be a yoga and Pilates student again. Why it was a difficult — and liberating — choice. 

Blog by Nicole [Former Invoke Pilates instructor, yoga & Pilates student, HR goddess]

I did it.

After weeks of debating and soul-searching, last November I found my courage in a couple of glasses of wine and sent my semi-resignation to Amy Peddycord, the owner of Invoke Studio.

After six years of teaching, training and music-mix-making at Invoke, I felt like I needed to hang up my set list, at least for now. It was an incredibly difficult decision and a totally selfish move. But after six years of focusing on others on their mats, I needed to focus on mine again.

Don’t get me wrong; I love teaching. The challenge, the energy, the people, the studio — they all make you a better person. So why would I stop?

The answer is simple and kind of lame. When life became crazy, I had to choose between cultivating my own practice and helping others grow theirs. At the end of the day, I chose myself.

In an ideal world, a balance exists between the roles of student and instructor. If you’re really lucky, you might even clock more hours on your mat as a student than you do standing over others on theirs. But at some point along my six-year teaching journey, I let a full-time job and other life events keep me from my mat.

And I felt it.  My mind-body balance was out of whack. I was starting to feel like I was walking through the world with a mental limp of sorts.

Today, I’m back on my mat as a student. I’m making it to class a couple of times a week, and instead of standing over students, demanding that they give me 20 more or hold for five, I’m sitting and standing next to them, giving 20 more and holding for five. There are days when I might even mentally curse my instructor for those extra counts and breaths, but it’s awesome and worth it because within the strain, I find my mind-body balance.

In the classes where former students are now instructors and students of all ages and abilities are moving on their mats, side by side, I’m in it, and there’s balance.  My mental limp has begun to fade, and in its place I find the buzz that you can only get when you’ve spent your 60-plus minutes on your mat.

I can’t stay away from teaching for long. Just like taking classes, I will crave instructing.

I plan to surprise my old students every now and then with a sub appearance. They’ll find me standing over them, calling out breaths and counts, maybe even making them mentally curse me.

That’s OK, because in those moments, it’s all about them.

Schoville, known among many at Invoke for her challenging classes, works in human resources at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum.

Author: Love Invoke

Invoke Studio is Indianapolis' urban fitness oasis. We are a community-minded space for people who aspire to fulfill the full potential of both mind and body, offering a full schedule of yoga, Pilates, fitness classes and teacher trainings. This blog is a collection of stories, inspirations, thoughts and teachings written by those that love Invoke Studio and is dedicated to all those that love the practice of a fit body and calm mind.

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