Blog by Riley Missel (Student Athlete, Sporadic Yogi, To-Do List Enthusiast, Cat Mom)
7 days in! Wow. What a week. My bottom is sore and my wrists are creaky… but on the bright side I think all those chaturangas are starting to show (flexing emoji).
More awesome things have been happening, too. Previously, when I came to yoga to ‘practice’ I was really coming to give myself a performance. Since I didn’t make it to the mat (publicly) very often, I wanted to make the most of it (as in, take all the advanced options and showing off my headstand). But on Monday in class, Erin offered that we take side angle pose further into a bind, or bird of paradise. A woman to my right stood slowly, her left leg wrapped up in her arms and pointed at the ceiling. You can do that, my brain reminded me. So I wrapped my arms around my lunging knee, and tried to stand. I wobbled, and fell out of it. I re-bound, and fell again before I even stood up. My brain stalled for a minute. I decided not to give myself the usual runaround about being lame today. Instead of continuing to wrangle my body into something it wasn’t interested in, I settled back onto both feet. Welp! Not today.
In Andrea’s class, she suggested we try an arm balance from a seated twist (If you had to reread that don’t worry- my reaction exactly). It seemed as wonky as it sounds. But instead of guessing ahead of time what my body could or couldn’t do, I placed my palms on the floor and lifted my bottom off the ground…I did it! I had it!
Then I teeter-tottered my face into the floor.
As I peeled my cheek off the hardwood, I smiled –it was funny! And I knew I could try again, and practice more tomorrow. Practicing every day takes all the pressure away. Daily practice has been allowing me to be who I am that day, and present with my body as it is in that moment. I can play around with what I’ve got that day and let go of how I thought I should be, because there’s always tomorrow.
Some days your legs feel like flying in bird of paradise, and some days they don’t. When I can make it more frequently to practice, it feels much more like that- a practice. But I think I’m learning that this practice will never make perfect, not permanently. I can do the straightest handstand on Friday, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be able to pop right back up into it on Monday. I’m always going to have some off days, some tired days, and that’s absolutely okay. In the same way, the more I practice being kind to myself or being grateful or patient or strong, the better at it I will be, but I’ll never out-practice my off days. I’ll never be perfectly perfect. And isn’t that the fun part anyway?