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Practicing with gratitude

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Find the art of being grateful for what you can do

Blog by Francesca [Loveinvoke blogger-in-chief]

I volunteered this weekend to teach a couple of free yoga sessions at the inaugural Festival of Faiths in Downtown Indianapolis. Both groups of students were small but mighty. Among them, one practitioner stood out: Susie, a middle-aged woman who attended both sessions (which were largely the same ) with enthusiasm.

Susie hadn’t practiced yoga much before, and —  with a car accident and a few falls in her past — practicing was difficult for her. She used a chair to help provide support for her wrists because poses like downward-facing dog and low lunge were painful. For hip-openers, she opted to do the gentler figure-four pose, rather than going full steam into the intense pigeon posture.

But those modications didn’t discourage her in the slightest. She emerged from the first 45-minute class with a huge smile on her face. “That felt great!” she said. When I told her she did a good job of modifying, she informed me that she likes to focus on what she can do, rather than what she can’t do. “That’s a whole different list,” she said with a smile.

After the second session, Susie thanked me for spending my afternoon teaching yoga. She reemphasized everything that was great about the afternoon, including practicing outside in the beautiful weather.  And she commented on her progress, noting that she could get her hands closer to the ground after session #2 than she could when she started out the afternoon.

As the day wound down, I couldn’t help but continue thinking of Susie and her amazing positivity. What if all of us could live our lives with such a deep and immense sense of gratitude? What if we could look at a situation and identify the good things about it, rather than focusing — as many of us are inclined to do — on the negative?

It reminded me of an episode of NPR’s “This American Life” a few weeks ago that featured a guy named Emir Kamenica, who had the traditional American Dream story. A Bosnian refugee living in an Atlanta housing project, he was given the opportunity to go to an exclusive private school and from there attended Harvard for undergraduate and doctorate degrees.

During the course of the story, Emir displayed a clear sense of thankfulness for the opportunities he’d been given and attributed his achievements — not to his own merit — but to the goodness that others had shown him.

The reporter on the story, Michael Lewis, summed up Emir’s philosophy well:  “Everyone owes at least some of their success — not just to chance — but to other people being nice for no reason at all.”

If we look at the world through this lens of gratitude, just imagine the warmth and kindness we would feel — not only about our own lives, but about others.

So the next time you go to your yoga mat, take the opportunity to view your practice as Susie would — with a sense of thankfulness for every part of the experience — and a focus on what you can do, rather than what you can’t.

If you can translate this outlook to life off the mat, you will experience joy every day.

I bet Susie does.

Jarosz is a former journalist who loves to write, practice and teach yoga, run and lead communications efforts for The Mind Trust, an Indianapolis-based education reform nonprofit. Follow her on Twitter @francescajarosz.


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Learning to exercise sleep

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Morning workout, or morning rest? A really good question.

Blog by Francesca [Loveinvoke blogger-in-chief]

Here’s a conundrum that occurs at least once a month.

The alarm goes off at 6 a.m. I feel exhausted and hit snooze. Then I spend the next nine minutes until the alarm is sure to go off again debating the ever-important question: to work out, or get more rest?

Most mornings, I choose the former, driven by a type-A personality and the realization that I’ll feel better — at least until 2 p.m. — with some morning endorphins.

But some mornings, I give in to the exhaustion. Typically that happens when I’ve reached my breaking point and rest is virtually inevitable. Lately I’ve been grappling with the need to get a better monitor on my bodily energy gauge to avoid reaching that point. But how do you know when to back off and rest and when to soldier through?

It’s a common challenge among the morning workout contingent. After all, when an early-wired bodily clock bolts you out of bed, you want to make good use of it. And it’s hard to argue with the post-workout high that is equivalent to several cups of coffee and helps propel you through the morning.

But sometimes pushing through a workout when you’re overly tired can reap negative consequences for the rest of the day. For example:

  • You become tired by early afternoon and resort to nibbling on sugary snacks to get you through the work day.
  • Getting up early to work out becomes a chore, and you stop enjoying the experience of exercising.
  • You burn out of the morning workout routine altogether and find yourself on a workout hiatus.
  • Simply worn out, you hit a wall and are so exhausted that it’s hard to even be productive.

The latter happened to me this past week after a week of a few early workouts, a crazy work schedule, and some overall stress. By pushing myself past the breaking point, I found myself needing to catch up with two consecutive nights of 10 hours of sleep (I’m fortunate that I was able to do this).

This has happened to all of us. And it’s by no means a warning against exercising — including early in the morning.

It a reminder, though, of the importance of one of the basic tenets of yoga that should be a guiding principle in all exercise: listen to your body. Sometimes “powering through” can be the perfect thing to do. But by ignoring messages your body is sending and running yourself ragged, you can do more harm than good.

So the next time your alarm goes off at 6 a.m., don’t engage your brain in thinking about what would be best for you. Instead, take a moment in your sleepy state to scan how you feel. And respond accordingly.

Jarosz is a former journalist who loves to write, practice/ teach yoga, run, and lead communications efforts for The Mind Trust, an Indianapolis-based education reform nonprofit. Follow her on Twitter @francescajarosz.


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Slow down to build up

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How going back to basics altered my practice

Blog by Laura  [Yogini, Spanish-language guru, precision practitioner]

I started practicing  yoga many years ago by doing the same video over and over.  Then I started taking vinyasa yoga classes and enjoyed the workout I got from those faster-paced classes.  It wasn’t until I went through yoga teacher training that I came to appreciate what a taking a slower approach to my practice had to offer.

I was in a class in which we spent a long time exploring downward-facing dog when I finally got it: seemingly simple poses that we do over and over again in a class (like downward-facing dog) involve a precise set of alignment principles, as well as a lot of preparation.

In open-level and intermediate/advanced classes, you spend less time in the pose, so you typically only hear the most basic instructions.  That’s why I’d recommend that all students at some point in their yoga journey take some basics classes. It will help to create a better foundation that strengthens your overall practice, and you’ll gain a better appreciation for how challenging some of the most basic poses are when you practice them correctly.

In basics classes, the instructor slows things down a bit and is able to give more directives.  As you learn to refine the pose, you strengthen both large and small muscle groups that are engaged.  Spending more time in the pose also allows you to explore it and find out what happens when you make small changes to it.  You can take what you learn to your open level and intermediate/advanced classes and further develop the poses and improve your strength and flexibility in them.

Exploring poses at a deeper level can also help you prevent injury.  Like many people I spent years doing Chaturanga Dandasana (yoga push-up) incorrectly. I suffered the consequences, ending up with pain in my left shoulder. To refine the pose, I studied and worked on the alignment for a long time, coming to my knees each time to keep the pain away.  True to the nerd that I am, I even videotaped myself to see what I was doing incorrectly.  I am now finally at a point that I can do the full pose without pain.

This week, I’ll kick of a three-week series of Thursday night classes, “Essential Elements of Flow,” which will break down some of the most common but challenging poses.  You will be able to use your package for these classes.  I’ve listed the schedule below, along with a few other basics options offered at Invoke. I hope you’ll take advantage of these opportunities to slow down in order to build a better yoga practice.

Essential Elements of Flow:

  • August 15th: Chaturanga Dandasana & Sun Salutations

    • During this workshop, we will work with Sun Salutations A, B, and C and learn steps you can take back to your own practice to build toward a safe, strong Chaturanga Dandasana (yoga push-up).

  • August 22nd: Headstand & Wheel Pose

    • Following a vinyasa-style warm-up, we will work with these Headstand and Wheel Pose to learn the most proper alignment for your current yoga practice.

  • August 29th: Shoulder Stand & Plow Pose

    • Following a vinyasa-style warm-up, we will work with these Shoulder Stand and Plow Pose to learn the most proper alignment for your current yoga practice.

At Invoke, we are lucky enough to have Chuck Crosby and Ahna Hoke as basics instructors!  If you haven’t gone to one of their basics classes yet, I encourage you to try them.

Basics-level classes at Invoke:

  • Ahna: 7pm Mondays & 11am Saturdays

  • Chuck: 7pm Wednesdays & 4:30 Thursdays

  • Laura: 11:30am Sundays

Haehl is a yoga instructor who teaches at Invoke Studio. While she’s great at breaking down the basics, she’s also known to teach some challenging flows. 


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The anti-aging movement

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At 30, a new appreciation for the journey

Blog by Erin [Yogini, wordsmith, happiness advocate]

Hot dang.  I’m about to be 30 years old.

As I approach this birthday, I’m struck anew that my life hasn’t followed many of the rules. I’ve not met many of the timelines or completed the societal standard checklist of important stuff a young woman is supposed to do on her path to becoming a grown-up 30-year-old.  I still spend a disproportionate amount of my income on music and travel. My body has not yet produced offspring.  Sometimes I still drink too much booze.

Thank my lucky stars I found yoga way back in college. Yoga has taught me so much about loving myself, about loving others, and about dealing with heartbreak. About discovering and living as the most authentic version of myself. My work as a yoga instructor has been a constant process of giving and receiving.  I have been given so much.

So as I approach 30, I give you these words as my gift as I make peace with this milestone.  I hope they will leave you inspired and curious and excited about being you at whatever age. Imagine the bullet points as little high fives.

  • You can never be sure what cards the universe will deal you.  Bearing witness to a loved one’s struggle with mental illness has been the hardest experience of my 30 years.  It is such a bewildering and heartbreaking thing to endure — there are no words.  The beautiful part (there MUST be a beautiful part) is that as I try to cope with it all, I feel my heart getting bigger and bigger.  It’s like there is someone knocking down walls in there and adding on rooms.  The take-away: you have absolutely no idea what a person might be silently dealing with.  Be kind.  Always be kind. The mind is a battlefield for so many.

  • Keep your mind away from trashy magazines and television shows that do not depict real people!  Real people means humans who aren’t a product of thousands of dollars of plastic surgery, airbrushing, or one of the 0.00009% of the population with the genetic makeup of a super-model.  You wouldn’t throw garbage out of your car window, so why would you throw it into your brain? Your body tells your story. All the scars and freckles and laugh lines, all the glasses of wine and bricks of cheese that keep that extra bit of flesh on your body, these are things that make you magical. It’s like your life is tattooing you. Tattoos are cool, right? Your life is full of awesome stories, right?  Tell the truth. You are beautiful.

  • Forgive people. Start forgiving everybody. Yourself. Your ex lover.  Your Dad. The butthole that was in line next to you at Starbucks.  Radical forgiveness. Let it go. Drop the sandbags and go frolic!

  • About six years ago I had this wild idea that I couldn’t let go. I wanted to become a yoga teacher. A crazy idea, no?  Find what makes you come alive and go do it. If you aren’t sure what makes you come alive, then be curious. Spend time getting to know yourself.  Practice yoga. Meditate. Volunteer. Read books. Try new things. Be a good listener. The answer is not hiding inside your television. Be brave. You got ‘dis.

  • Surround yourself with an army of badass people.  This has been one of the greatest things I’ve learned as I’ve become an adult. You can be kind and understanding and compassionate with everyone you encounter, but you do not have to be their best friend, their boyfriend or their girlfriend. Set boundaries.  Keep it real. Honor your limitations with all things. Surround yourself with people that make you shine.

So, there is our pep talk. Get old, get super-old — without feeling a day older.  Get more awesome each day you walk this planet. Leave it a better place than you found it.  Let’s start a revolution: the anti-anti-aging movement.

Morgan is a yoga instructor who teaches at Invoke Studio, among other places. She is known among her yoga students for her clever sequences and trendy playlists.


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Using yoga to avoid the big fall

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A near collision on my bike enlightened me about yoga’s role in tackling life’s challenges

Blog by Francesca [Loveinvoke blogger-in-chief]

I was riding my bike on the Cultural Trail in Downtown Indianapolis a few weeks ago en route to the Monon for a ride up to the Broad Ripple Farmer’s Market. It was my first ride of more than a couple miles on my newly purchased bike, and I was excited for the adventure.

But as I was rounding the corner on the trail off Mass Ave near the Flying Cupcake, I ran into my first obstacle. Another rider was navigating a sharp corner at the same time as I was, and we nearly collided. Somehow I was able to remain calm, but the poor other guy nearly fell off his bike after wobbling around and weaving with a look of terror on his face. Finally, he regained his balance — slightly embarrassed — and we both apologized and went along our rides.

As I rode off, I began to think about why I was able to maintain my composure with relative ease while my partner in collision nearly wiped out. My mind went immediately to the first chapter of yoga instructor Cyndi Lee’s book, Yoga Body, Buddha Mind, which we’re reading in my yoga teacher training program.

In the first few pages, Cyndi describes her experience falling out of a boat into the icy cold water of a river in Costa Rica. She recalls being trapped under the boat but maintaining a sense of calm that she had honed through her yoga and meditation practices, even while thoughts of death were running through her mind. With steadiness, she was able to emerge from underneath the boat to be pulled out of the water by a yoga student with whom she was boating.

These physical obstacles are apt metaphors for the challenges that confront us in life. Just like the man with whom I almost collided on the Cultural Trail, it’s easy to find ourselves cruising along calmly when the path is clear and things seem to be going our way. But when life throws twists and turns into the course, we start to get off kilter.

For me, yoga has provided a powerful way to find balance in the midst of chaos and bring myself back to a sense of peace. Through the physical practice of yoga, I’ve learned the mental focus and discipline required to do some of the more challenging poses. There are certain poses that present me with particular challenges, but if my mind starts to panic coming into them, I know it’s a lost cause. Instead, I push myself to find a way to remain calm and steady, and in so doing I can find a greater sense of steadiness in the pose.

Just imagine if we could all take what we learn off the mat into the world and use it as we confront the twists and turns of daily life. Think how much more effective we’d be if we could find a way to be calm, despite the chaos.

Not falling off my bike in the midst of a near crash was a small step on the journey toward a better disposition in the face of life’s obstacles. I guess we all have to start somewhere.

Jarosz is a former journalist who loves to write, practice yoga, run and lead communications efforts for The Mind Trust, an Indianapolis-based education reform nonprofit. Follow her on Twitter @francescajarosz.


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Running for the long haul

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How yoga helped me tap into the deeper joy of running

Blog by Francesca [Loveinvoke blogger-in-chief]

I’m getting ready to start training for a few half-marathons this fall, so I’ve begun psyching myself up for going on runs that last more than 45 minutes.

I used to run decent distances — seven to 10 miles on weekends — pretty frequently almost year-round, but since I’ve gotten deeper into my yoga journey, I’ve traded long trips on the Monon for shorter jaunts in my neighborhood to allow myself time to get to my mat.

While I’ve cut the duration of my runs, I’ve grown dramatically in how much I enjoy them. And I have yoga to thank for that.

I’ve always cherished running time. When I’m running with other people, I enjoy great conversations and a sense of bonding over the shared experience and challenge.

On days I run by myself, I relish the opportunity to tune out the stresses of everyday life, the need to be “on” and to converse. I simply let my mind focus on whatever it grasps at the moment – whether that is imagining how the next five years of my life might unfold, contemplating the lyrics of a song on my playlist or just enjoying the feel of the pavement against the soles of my shoes.

It’s not exactly a meditation, but a basking in the state of the moment.

Through yoga I’ve strengthened my ability to tune out unpleasant or stressful thoughts and tune into what my body is feeling. I’ve built the mental discipline to endure physical strain – remembering that it, like most things in life, is only temporary. And I’ve stopped focusing on the end game so much – the muscle toning, calorie burning and other superficial motivations that in the past have driven me to exercise. Instead, I’ve started really enjoying the act of exercising itself.

I incorporated these principals into my training for the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon last fall. When I was doing super-long runs to prepare for the 26.2 miles, I would tell myself that I was really just going on a long road trip and that I should prepare myself to enjoy a great playlist and the scenery along the way (those 20-plus-mile runs, after all, took me about the same amount of time it would take to drive to visit my parents in Springfield, Illinois – more than three hours).

I would not allow myself to anticipate reaching the last mile but kept my mind engaged and focused on the journey as it unfolded. And I when I felt pain, which was frequently, I would remind myself that it would be over soon enough. A few hours, after all, is really a short time span in the scheme of things.

What did bringing these elements into my running do? It enabled me to run 26.2 miles and have a great time doing it.

I’m looking forward to incorporating those principles into training again this fall. And I expect they will be easier to hone now that I have an even stronger passion and appreciation for running – and my yoga practice that enhances it so beautifully.

Jarosz is a former journalist who loves to write, practice yoga, run and lead communications efforts for The Mind Trust, an Indianapolis-based education reform nonprofit. Follow her on Twitter @francescajarosz.


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‘Yoga doesn’t care if you fall’

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Kye Hawkins explains how yoga provides her with a rare opportunity to play like a 7-year-old.

Blog by Kye [Yoga junkie, former gymnast, education nonprofit rockstar]

During a recent Vinyasa Flow class, our instructor suggested that we attempt hand stands in the middle of the room. “I love practicing hand stands,” she said. “You know that every time you’re going to fall. Every. Single. Time. But you just keep kicking up and trying again.”

This represents an important aspect of yoga that keeps me coming back to my mat several times a week: the opportunity to playfully challenge myself without judgment or consequence.

I was a gymnast for most of my adolescence, and while the sport taught me many things, one of the most important skills gymnastics taught me is the ability to challenge myself while considering it “play.” To try something I’ve never tried before. To attempt a new skill that might be a little scary. To fall. To disregard that fall. And to get up and give it another go.

Yoga has reunited me with the opportunity to play — and fall — often.

In yoga, you don’t give up on something just because you can’t get it exactly right. As my instructor often says: “Yoga doesn’t care if you fall.” For the record, yoga also doesn’t care if you’re flexible. It doesn’t care if you want to sit in child’s pose the entire class, and it certainly doesn’t care if you can do a headstand.

This practice provides the very rare opportunity for adults to play – something we probably don’t get to do often enough in our grown-up lives. When else are you given space – both mentally and physically – to take your body, turn it upside-down, test your balance on your hands, head, or forearms, and to fall down, without anyone judging you or even thinking twice?

For this reason, when I walk into a yoga studio, I’m giddy with anticipation for the new balances I might attempt, the chances I’ll have to go upside-down, the inversions I might hold for a few more seconds than last time, and the opportunities to twist my body in ways I previously thought impossible.  There’s something extremely special about a tiny room that gives you the courage to play like a seven-year-old amongst a group of adult strangers.

So to anyone who is hesitant to try the “scary” things in yoga (or to try yoga in the first place), stop worrying and play! And completely lose your balance, come right back to your mat and try again. Because that, to me, is what yoga is all about.

Hawkins manages programs, communications and member engagement for the Cities for Education Entrepreneurship Trust, a network of city-based organizations promoting innovation and reform in K-12 education.


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A reminder to tame the rajas

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As much as I like to avoid cliches, it’s hard resisting this one: tragedy takes us back to our yogic principles.

Blog by Francesca [Loveinvoke blogger-in-chief]

It’s such a trite thing to say after a tragedy.

“This (insert tragic event) really reminds us to treasure every day and enjoy every moment.”

It’s trite, but true. And it leads us back to one of the key teachings of yoga – the importance of being present.

This is something I’ve been grappling with over the past two months since I embarked on a journey to complete Invoke’s 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training program. The course has challenged me mentally and physically as I’ve learned more about the poses of yoga and worked on executing them with precision. But it’s also stretched me to contemplate the way I live my life and my day-to-day behavior that I’ve come to accept as normal.

The lesson of being in the moment came into play one night as I was preparing to do our written yoga training homework assignment. I had allocated  a window of time for completing it –a precise half-hour in between when I wrapped up my work day and the time I left the office to catch an evening yoga class. As soon as I read the assignment, though, I changed my plans for the night.

Our yoga homework was to learn about the three different states of nature present in humans: one of ambition and constant action (rajas); one of relaxation and inertia (tamas); and one of a harmonious balance of the two (sattva). Then we were to write about the one we most frequently experience.

All I had to do was think about my busy little evening agenda to realize how much I was inclined to let rajas take control. And with a sense of sheepishness, I decided to head home and enjoy the evening, instead of rushing from one thing to another.

When I got home that night, I tried to apply my newfound conceptualization of my rajas to my evening routine. As I made dinner, instead of throwing things in a pan on autopilot while talking on the phone, I took the time to enjoy the process of cooking: the cutting of vegetables, the preparation required to boil water, the smell of ingredients mixing together. I ate more slowly, too, and enjoyed the meal, rather than inhaling dinner and letting my mind rush off to the next thing on my agenda.

This practice – and my subsequent reflection on rajas through my yoga homework that night – illuminated how much I allow myself to zip from one thing to the next in life. I always think five steps ahead. I always try to do too many things. I often push myself beyond my capacity, failing to sleep enough or to take time to slow down and smell the roses.

I’m not alone. Many of us do these things.

And yet, there is so much joy in appreciating each moment for its unique value. As much as life can feel redundant at times, no moment is exactly like another. So why don’t we savor them more?

And why does it take a tragedy like the events in Boston this past week to remind us how precious – and how fragile – those moments truly are?

Life is best when we live in the present. I’m glad for the way that yoga reminds me of that.

Jarosz is a former journalist who loves to write, practice yoga, run and lead communications efforts for The Mind Trust, an Indianapolis-based education reform nonprofit. Follow her on Twitter @francescajarosz.


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A surge forward in fitness

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Over the last several years, Scott Baumer has melted off the pounds with a disciplined exercise regimen that includes competitive cycling. Pilates has helped him take his fitness to the next level. 

Blog by Scott [Competitive cyclist, Pilates newcomer, native Hoosier]

In Spring 2004, the end of my first year at the University of Southern Indiana, I weighed 190 pounds at 5’10.” I hardly made an effort to exercise and ate without regard for calories or fat.

When I returned home to Indianapolis that summer, I was frustrated by the way I looked and completely lacked self-confidence. So I decided to lose weight the old-fashioned way: by changing my diet and exercising daily. I had a summer job at a golf course, which helped me to stay active. I also avoided fried foods, focused on portion control and went to the gym for an hour of cardio seven days a week. By the end of the summer, I was down to 165 pounds.

Four summers later — at the urging of my then-girlfriend and her dad — I decided to start cycling. I started riding by myself or with my girlfriend and eventually joined a local cycling group. I ended up riding nearly 2,800 miles in 2009. By 2010, I was riding 5,000 miles per year. Along the way, my weight kept falling, and I settled in around 155 pounds.

By mid-summer 2011, I entered my first race (a criterium in Eagle Creek Park) and was instantly hooked. The following year, I decided to give racing my all. I hired a coach in and began training to improve my fitness and power. By the end of 2012, I had raced 65 times and covered 8,000 miles, upgrading my cycling competitiveness level by several degrees.

While my training regimen was intense, I was focused solely on logging miles on the bicycle and  neglected all other aspects of my body. To further improve, I knew I would have to put more effort into strengthening the rest of my body, especially my core and flexibility. This would help to improve my  position on the bike and give me additional power. With this plan, I decided to try Pilates at Invoke.

My first trip to Pilates was eye-opening — or perhaps demoralizing is a better way to put it. I considered myself to be in great shape, but that perception changed in my first hour of Pilates. I could barely do half of the exercises. Who would have thought lifting 3 pound weights would be so challenging?

But after getting over the initial shock of how tough this workout was, I embraced it as part of my routine. Adding Pilates to my weekly training has strengthened my entire body, and I’m confident it will improve my results this race season. I welcome and hope to learn from the physical challenge.

It’s good for all of us to push beyond our limits and try new things to stay healthy. After almost a decade-long fitness journey, I’m glad to have discovered Pilates to give me the extra push I need to take my cycling — and overall wellness — to the next level.

Baumer is an accountant and new homeowner in Indianapolis.


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Having the courage to choose myself

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Nicole Schoville decided at the end of last year to take a hiatus from teaching to make time to be a yoga and Pilates student again. Why it was a difficult — and liberating — choice. 

Blog by Nicole [Former Invoke Pilates instructor, yoga & Pilates student, HR goddess]

I did it.

After weeks of debating and soul-searching, last November I found my courage in a couple of glasses of wine and sent my semi-resignation to Amy Peddycord, the owner of Invoke Studio.

After six years of teaching, training and music-mix-making at Invoke, I felt like I needed to hang up my set list, at least for now. It was an incredibly difficult decision and a totally selfish move. But after six years of focusing on others on their mats, I needed to focus on mine again.

Don’t get me wrong; I love teaching. The challenge, the energy, the people, the studio — they all make you a better person. So why would I stop?

The answer is simple and kind of lame. When life became crazy, I had to choose between cultivating my own practice and helping others grow theirs. At the end of the day, I chose myself.

In an ideal world, a balance exists between the roles of student and instructor. If you’re really lucky, you might even clock more hours on your mat as a student than you do standing over others on theirs. But at some point along my six-year teaching journey, I let a full-time job and other life events keep me from my mat.

And I felt it.  My mind-body balance was out of whack. I was starting to feel like I was walking through the world with a mental limp of sorts.

Today, I’m back on my mat as a student. I’m making it to class a couple of times a week, and instead of standing over students, demanding that they give me 20 more or hold for five, I’m sitting and standing next to them, giving 20 more and holding for five. There are days when I might even mentally curse my instructor for those extra counts and breaths, but it’s awesome and worth it because within the strain, I find my mind-body balance.

In the classes where former students are now instructors and students of all ages and abilities are moving on their mats, side by side, I’m in it, and there’s balance.  My mental limp has begun to fade, and in its place I find the buzz that you can only get when you’ve spent your 60-plus minutes on your mat.

I can’t stay away from teaching for long. Just like taking classes, I will crave instructing.

I plan to surprise my old students every now and then with a sub appearance. They’ll find me standing over them, calling out breaths and counts, maybe even making them mentally curse me.

That’s OK, because in those moments, it’s all about them.

Schoville, known among many at Invoke for her challenging classes, works in human resources at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum.